You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
