AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
she pinky promised me she was 18
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
