Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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