Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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