Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
