so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize