Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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