so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
