If i come over, it means nothing
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
