The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
