well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
