So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
