what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
