im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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