You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I think a kid would responsible me up
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
