yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
