what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Farmville is her only friend.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
