That's when you crack a 10am beer
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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