how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
The best revenge is premature balding
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
