FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
she peed on how many people?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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