She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
