My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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