'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
