so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
