All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
