he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
