need another drink. this is the easiest way
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
