what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
