Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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