I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize