let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
