I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize