Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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