They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
