AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
