bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
i've created a new STD.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize