I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
We were destined to go to rehab together
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
