I'm eating all of the evidence.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
