I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
