Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
