why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
