also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
