google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
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