remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
