i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
