zippers are such a cool invention
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize
