Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
