She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
