She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
