My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
