Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
