Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
