A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
either way he was missing a nipple.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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