I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Do vagina's smell?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
