How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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