You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
why is half of my head shaved?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
