I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
