I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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